I've got some things to say....

How many times have you heard someone ask “How do I know for sure that he/she is ‘the one’?”, “How do I know when I’ve found ‘the one’?”

There really is no right and wrong answer here, as everyone has their own views of what constitutes finding “the one”. I believe that it comes down to the level of simplicity that person can bring your life to.  Let me explain.

One of the most common phrases heard as we grow up is “I wish I was a kid again.” Why is that exactly?

Well when you were a kid, life was simple. There were no bills to worry about, no job you were required to be at, no stress about where you would be in 5 years; tears could be halted by an ice cream cone, having only $5 meant having endless possibilities, there was no insurance or car payment for your Big Wheel, and your greatest memories took place at the playground. When you were a kid you had not a care in the world—your biggest concern was how to get Barbies’ hair back after you cut it off, or how to fix the broken wheel on your favorite Hot Wheels car; if you didn’t like something, you said so, and when you knew you liked something you never let it go (like your favorite blanket, or teddy bear). The scariest parts of your life were looking under the bed at night, or telling Mom you broke her favorite vase. But no matter what happened that day, you looked to the next day as a new adventure waiting for you to embark upon.

So find that person who makes you forget about all the things that bother you when you’re around them. It could be for 5 minutes or 5 days, but in that time you’re a kid with not a care in the world. Find that person who makes the most mundane activity seem as fun as your favorite past-time, and in those moments you’re a kid amused by the littlest things. Find the person you can feel comfortable telling exactly what is on your mind to, and at those times, you’re a kid who tells it like it is, unfiltered and free. Find the person whose heart you hold and protect, like a kid who would never break their Mother’s prized possession. Find the person who gives you butterflies with just a thought of them, and you’re like a kid with their first crush. Find the person you are always comfortable around, the person you want to hangout with everyday, the person you talk to in voices and with words you don’t use with anyone else, and you’re a kid who found their “BFF” (or BFFL depending on your level of coolness). 

Being a kid was simple, it was effortless—and true love should be no different; effortless. As adults we have enough to worry about in our lives, and the last thing we need is something else to complicate it, something else to question. Love shouldn’t be a question, you shouldn’t have to “work” at it—it’s not like we “work” at feeling sad, or “work” at feeling happy, and you didnt have to “work” at being a kid. Loving someone in terms of that person being “the one,” being in love, should be Black and White, no shades of gray. You love them entirely, or you don’t love them at all. Like a kid, so innocently, you love them when you have a fight, you love them when they do something sweet, you love them for their flaws, you love them for who they are completely. That’s the difference between just a boyfriend or girlfriend, and “the one”. 

So I say, when you find that person who makes you feel like a kid again, it is then that you’ve found the one, because that’s when you’ve found someone to share the kind of love and feeling that comes effortlessly. You don’t have to question it, you don’t doubt it, and you certainly don’t have to force it. That’s when you just know.


This has been another Happy Thought with Dolores Anne.

©Justaneverydaygirl.tumblr.com  - Dolores Anne

Think about the happiest time in your life

Now think about the people who were around to share it.

Think about the lowest point in your life.  

Now think about the people who were there to help pick you up.  

Is the list the same?  Probably not entirely.

In our lives we continuously have friendships that come and go.  Some end because we have a fight, some end because we grow apart, and some simply fizzle out due to a lack of effort by both sides.  What it all boils down to, however, is that for some reason or another, these people were not vital to your life and to your overall happiness.   But what about those people we hold on to who we know provide us with no positive influence? What about those people we know are just plain toxic?  

You know who I’m talking about.  The person who only cares about themselves;  who is constantly negative;  the person who focuses on what they don’t have, but not on how to change it; who only makes friends with people out of convenience; who makes friends with people because of what they can take from them; who only comes around when they need to vent, or when they need something; who in reality never really makes any real “friends” at all?  You may have experienced them lose friend after friend— and at some point, you have to realize that it can’t be everyone else.

We know they won’t be there when we need them, we know they won’t ever be the ear to listen, or the shoulder to cry on.  Sometimes we know we can’t trust them; we know they’re the ones talking about everyone you know behind their back—-and therefore, possibly doing the same to you.  The person who is constantly LOOKING for drama, to the point where if there isn’t any, they basically create it for themselves.  The person who asks for advice on the same situation, time after time, but continues to make the bad decisions, and expects you to be surprised that their situation always turns out the same.  It’s the same person who isn’t there for you when things are tough; but is at your door when things are easy.  The same person who calls you when they need you to go somewhere, but ignores your call when you need them to tag-a-long with you.  The person who turns any conversation about you, into something about them.  The person who shows no interest in the things going on in your life, but insists you be around for the things going on in their own.

Sound familiar?

With so many relationships, and friendships, and people in our lives, what is the sense in holding on to these people who do nothing but take, take, take? To these people who take your mood from bad to worse?  To these people who become poisonous to your happiness, well-being, and growth as a person?  

Life is so short, and as we grow older we have less and less time to spend with the people we really care about.  The need for an entourage of friends begins to decline. and when we’re facing real and true LOW points in our lives is when we tend to really see people for who they are.  It’s also when we realize who really matters, and who doesn’t.   It’s important to take a look at the people you surround yourself with.  Take a look at the effect they have on your life, or lack there of.   It can be hard to let go, but it’s important for you to realize that these people hold us back more than they help us.  You may not always see it right away, but don’t forget how much misery loves company—they’d keep you in the hole you’re in just as quickly as they’d be the one to put you there to begin with.   

Why sacrifice precious time that could be spent with people who truly care,  for people who look at you as just a number in their phone,  just a name on a list of people to call when they need something?  Why would you want any person in your life who makes you feel anything but good?  Why would you want any person in your life who doesn’t show genuine interest in the things you do or say?  And most importantly, why would you want any person in your life who you just can’t trust?

A real friendship is one that is built out of a mutual appreciation and understanding of one another.  You may not always agree, and you may not get along 100% of the time (we are all human and we make mistakes!) but you WILL always respect and care about one another.  You will want to be there for them as much as they want to be there for you, both when you’re up and when you’re way, way down.  You will care about what is going on in their life, and they will be the ones to show you that they care about whats going on in yours.  You will trust one another, and you will be thankful for one another. 

As you read this, I’m sure a list of names came up in your own mind.  

So you have the choice—INVEST your time in your true friends—-or WASTE your time with your toxic acquaintances.  

This has been another Happy Thought with Dolores Anne.

Until next time…

©Justaneverydaygirl.tumblr.com

So by a show of hands, how many of you are guilty of telling someone that you love them when you realllly don’t?

Uh huh.

And by show of hands how many of you feel someone has said “I love you” to you without meaning it?

Mmm hmm…

We are all guilty of it, a victim of it, or some even both.


Someone once said to me:

“You could be a total stranger and it’d still be the hardest thing in the world to tell you the last words you’d ever want to hear.” 

Well that couldn’t be any more selfish could it? Sounds like: “It’s so hard for me to hurt you with a few words, but being a cheater, lying to your face, pretending I’m happy, living a complete lie—-piece of cake with a cherry on top!” “Actions speak louder than words”, anyone?

So the question here is why do we do it? We know that it’ll only hurt the other even more once the lie is finally revealed. The longer you hold it in, the more time that passes, the more painful the break.

It is FAR easier to find someone you’re compatible with on all the right levels, someone you can live with, someone you can ACTUALLY love, than it is to live a lie. All you end up doing is letting the charade eat at you while you ponder how to break the news; while you fantasize about what being single again would be like, maybe even crossing that line to see what it feels like to be with someone else. We all know that only complicates the situation further, adding a third element to the already flawed formula. Meanwhile, the solution is easy: if you’re not happy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You want to pretend like you “care” about your significant (or should I say “insignificant”) other so much that you don’t want to hurt them by ending the relationship, but take a step back for a moment: Do the rest of your actions in the situation reflect that same “compassion”? Like when you’re flirting with other people? Or sneaking around? Or lying? Or just the plain fact that you’re completely wasting that persons time, prolonging a false sense of happiness and content, and being all around reckless with someone else’s heart and future? Who are you really trying to protect here? Hmm what’s that smell? Is that…cowardice? Ahh yes.

GET OVER IT! We’re adults here, right?. If as an adult, you can’t grasp the concept that not every relationship is forever, then you certainly have a great deal of growing up to do, and are probably not ready to actually Love someone. 

It’s better to feel the pain temporarily than to live miserably indefinitely.

There are millions of people in this world, and if one relationship doesn’t work out, there’s another waiting to begin. By keeping your true feelings inside you’re just hindering the other person from from finding someone who actually WILL love them. The tears, the hurt, the anger, the sadness— all those negative feelings you will most likely invoke—they will go away in time. I can’t imagine many people would opt for a few months (or even worse, a few years) of being deceived, as opposed to a few days (or weeks, if that) of feeling sad, because in the end we all realize that Life Goes On. 

It’s not the end of the world, your life is not over, you will love again, you will be happy again. (Despite how many times you cry and scream and shout the complete opposite. It’s fine, everyone does it.)

What it all boils down to is the idea that our personal happiness should be first and foremost. So quit pretending like you’re oh so compassionate and caring in not wanting to “hurt” someone with the words “it’s over”, when you find it perfectly acceptable to do anything and everything else that could crush them far worse.

Moral of the story: If it’s not working, do each other a favor and face reality. For whatever the reason may be, accept that the fire is out (or maybe that it was never there) and just let go. Stop wasting time (yours and theirs), stop being a scumbag, and just move on. At least in the end you’ll both have the opportunity to actually find happiness without the added guilt stemming from extended periods of deceit.


This has been another “Happy” Thought with Dolores Anne

©Justaneverydaygirl.tumblr.com

Felt this was a good re-post for the New Year :)

Despite being only 25, there are things I’ve come to learn in my life that take others a lifetime to see.

Things change, both in relationships and friendships. People come together, and people grow apart. You fall in love, and you fall out. Once you know it’s not working, and you’re not willing to work at it, it’s over. You can’t make someone love you, and you can’t make someone be faithful to you. It’s OK to let go, and if you’re not happy, consider it a requirement that you do. Your happiness matters above all else. Life is too short to be anything BUT happy. Never be with someone just because you’re lonely, or because you don’t want to hurt them. A broken heart will mend—but the longer you live the lie, the more painful the break, and the longer it takes to heal.

Both life and love have the ability to lift you off of the ground. It’s like having the ability to fly. You’re soaring through the clouds, yet in the back of your mind you know that if you fall, you’re going to fall hard and fast; and yes, it will hurt like hell. Sometimes you’re lucky enough to have someone ready to catch you. Other times you’ll be left with cuts and bruises, but they always heal in time. Either way, you eventually find yourself back up on your feet and back out on the road waiting to take flight again. (If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.) Sometimes you won’t know where you’re going or where you’ll end up—but what you come to find out is that the only directions you need are in your heart. So follow it.

Live life with no regrets. There is no such thing as the “wrong” decision. We should always remember that the choices we make are what shape who we are and the life we live. You make decisions because it’s what’s right for you in that moment. You can’t change the past, so believe in those choices, no matter the outcome. Cherish the good, and learn from the bad.

Follow the dreams that scare you the most, because in the end they’re the most fulfilling. People fear the unknown, but it’s when we’re tested that we find it in ourselves to keep moving forward despite the uncertainty, the fear, the tears, and the doubts. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. Find the courage to do that thing that’s crazy, to take the chance that scares you; because when you do, you let people in, you give second chances, you follow your dreams, you experience life.

You really can do anything you put your mind to. We all know who we want to be, who we want to become, and that person does exist—but it lies in the wrong turns, the ups, the downs, the hard work, the friendships, the laughs, the tears, the love, and the heartache;All the things that make up this thing we call “Life”, SO LIVE IT. Love yourself completely. Hold onto the people who make each day better, who make you smile, and who only make you cry when it’s from laughing way too hard; Let go of the people that bring you down. Follow your dreams. Fall in love, and love with all of your heart. Find the person who loves you for who you are and love them for who they are in return. Trust your instincts. Give people a chance. Be spontaneous. Learn to forgive when it’s deserved. Let your friends and family know that you love them as often as you can. Take chances. Follow your heart. Let go. Be who you are, and never change for someone else.

Believe in yourself—-Believe in family—-Believe in friendship—-Believe in second chances—-Believe in Happiness—-Believe in Love.

Here’s to a New Year everybody…..

©Justaneverydaygirl.tumblr.com  - Dolores Anne

(Source: facebook.com)

Dear 8 year old me,

All those trips to the zoo, those days and nights you spend with your dogs, the need for every animal as pet, the way you were devastated when your pets passed on; its not just because you’re a kid. It’s because you have a heart; it’s because you’re learning how to help those who can’t always help themselves; it’s because you’re experiencing your first lessons in love.  

Dear 12 year old me,

When you turn on that Jewel cd, you will feel like a different person.  You will take out your paper and pencil and those feelings will appear on paper.  Don’t tuck it way, don’t hide it, don’t be afraid of it.  You’re ahead of your age, so your friends won’t understand you, but in time you will find people who will.  Don’t just dream, do.  When others tell you that you can’t,  know that they’re just mad that they didn’t make their dreams happen.  It’s a test of your drive and strength—take it.

Dear 18 year old me,

You are not always in control, and that is okay.  Learn to let go, learn to ask for help, learn to let others be there for you the way you are for them.  No one can handle everything alone.   Make decisions for yourself, not to make others happy.  Don’t let anyone hold you back from what it is you really want.  This is your life, and the only person you have to make happy is yourself.

Dear 24 year old me,

Everything happens for a reason.  People change, we grow up (others may grow down), we grow apart.  But you are better off and you will see it.  So cry, scream, yell and get through everything however you need, but know that your world has not ended, it’s just beginning.  You are stronger than you know, but for the points where you can’t feel it, let those around you hold you up the way you’ve done for them.  

Dear 27 year old me,

You’re doing just fine.

Love, Me

©Justaneverydaygirl.tumblr.com  - Dolores Anne